Max on lunch?

Me to Max: "Hey, how 'bout we go to Quizno's for lunch?" Max: "Eww..I don't like kids' noses...they have boogers."

Max & the Babysitter:

When we came home from our date night tonight, Max insisted on "writing" a note to their babysitter (a 6th grade girl)--"Is she your friend?" I asked. Max: "No." Me: "No? You don't like her?" Max: "No. I love her."

Max on Church:

"I love Jesus but I don't like going to church...you have to wait so long before you can get donuts."

Max on monsters:

At bedtime last night, his brother and roommate was not there and so he was afraid to be alone. Max asked, "Mom, are monsters real?"
Me: "No, they're not. Um, but y'know there are wild animals like in the jungle or there can be bad people."
Max: "Like dogcatchers?"

Um, what are you feeding this kid??

The running commentary on the way home from preschool (where Max got plastic Easter eggs filled with jelly beans):

Opening up an egg carefully: "Nice and easy, boys. Nice and easy."

"Mom, the purple ones taste like strawberries, yeah. And the pink ones taste like M & M's. Oh, and the black ones taste like Starbucks! The blue ones taste like beer, yeah."

Jelly Belly Co.-- We've got some new flavors for ya!

1st Grade Grammar:

A conversation between my friend and her 1st grade daughter:
Mama: "Why are you bringing your Angel Reader to school?"

Lainie:  "Because we are studying contraptions at school and this book has them."

Mama: "What? There are contraptions in your book?"

Lainie: "Yup, you know: 'it's, don't, can't' -- CON-TRAP-TIONS!"

Independent Max:

T-shirt in hand, Max jumped on the bed waking me up this morning. "I'm going to put this on all by myself!" Serious pause: "Oh, I hope this works!"

On the Allure of Sugar Cookies

This is from our 7 year old neighbor Ryan:

"Hello sugar cookies.  Remember me? 

I'm your Love."

After his lunch, his mom told him 

he could have a cookie... 

He walked over to the box of cookies and goes, 

"Hello Gorgeous." 

Max on money:

"I want a purse. I need to protect my money. I like money."


And to demonstrate his like for money, this morning at church Max slam-dunked his donation into the collection basket almost knocking over the usher. That usher wins the "best grip" award.

Palm Sunday according to Maddie (Max's 6 yr. old sister):

"Once upon a time, Jesus was riding on a donkey. The road was really bumpy. The disciples didn't want Jesus to be bumply. So, they laid down palm trees."

Independent Max:

Bottle in hand, Max proudly woke me up this morning: "I poured it myself. My brain was hungry." Did you spill any? "Yeah, but I cleaned it up." All of it? "No--it was a mess!"

So, what are you trying to say??

Max was rummaging in my purse (looking for gum no doubt), pulled out the booklet of the U.S. Constitution that I keep there & handed it to me saying, "You need to read this Mom!"

Max on geography:

The Knighted States of Merica is my favorite country. (Why?) Because I have a sandbox. Yeah. & Can-a-da (Why?) Because I want milk. Yeah. & the flag with green, white & orange. (Ireland?) Yeah. Ire-land. Is that in Mary-land?

Max recognizes greatness:

After mass today Max pointed at our priest & said to him, "God, you're the greatest!" Our priest, looking a little embarrassed, said, "I'm not God, but uh, thanks!"

Max on God's way:

Me to Max: "How was school today?" Max: "Some kids didn't go God's way." Me: "And what is God's way?" Max: "It's the Promised Land. You have to go by sailboat because there are sharks in the water." Yes, Max, there are.

Max on hygiene:

Me to Max: *sniff* "Do you have a poopie?" Max:"Yes" Me: "Ok, let's go, I need to go change you." Max: "I think you're overreacting."

Max on preschool:

  "I don't want to go to school. It's not fun enough. It needs more puppies."

Max while watching Olympic figure skating:

 "I can do that." "I can't do that." "I can do that."

Max's recipe for hot chocolate:

Empty 3 mix packets (with marshmallows) into a mug, do NOT add any liquid. Place a metal spoon into the mug. Put mug in the microwave & hit the "Popcorn" button. Move out of the way as Mom lunges for the microwave.